Ask A Cop
Ask A Cop is live and unscripted. Each episode gives other officers and the community a window into a police officer's world and provides authentic community engagement with law enforcement professionals.Listeners can relate by asking questions, hearing some of their own struggles, and finding solutions. Despite preconceived notions, these men and women, who serve and protect, are approachable and eager to answer questions. This resource provides meaningful engagement for officers, their families, and the community. As chaplains, we have witnessed the immeasurable rewards of simply sitting down and having these positive conversations. Produced in partnership with Gods Way Radio.
Ask A Cop
024: Can a marriage between officers survive job pressures and a near death experience?
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Navigate the dynamics of marriage while working in a high-pressure field like law enforcement has proven to be a challenge. We sat down with Captain Sean Raven and Lieutenant Patty Raven, a married couple with an impressive history in the Davie Police Department, to learn about their journey together. They took us through their early days in the force, the inherent dangers of their job, and a harrowing traffic stop that could have ended tragically.
Their dedication to service, family, and each other truly makes the Ravens an exceptional family serving their community. Tune in to this inspiring episode - you won't want to miss it!
Working Together
Speaker 1You're listening to Ask a Cop podcast , a time where communities and cops connect . These conversations are recorded live , so stay tuned after the podcast so you can learn where to submit your own questions and to learn how you can support us . For now , though , get ready to Ask a Cop .
Speaker 2Hey , if you're listening on the podcast , thank you for subscribing . Go ahead and share the podcast . Make sure somebody else knows about it . Don't keep it to yourself . That's not nice . We are here with two incredible people just getting to know them recently just a little bit , and I can already tell that they're doing so much for the community and God's really out work in their lives . I've come to just hopefully that's okay first name basis with them , sean and Patty , but it's Captain Sean Raven and Lieutenant Patty Raven . Just want to give an opportunity for you to introduce yourself and say hello . We can start here with you , patty .
Speaker 3Hi , hello , thanks for having me . I am a yeah Lieutenant with the Davey Police Department , been working there for just coming up on 16 years here and it's a pleasure to be here .
Speaker 2Awesome Sean .
Speaker 4Well , thank you for having me . I've been an officer for 30 years now . I'm getting ready close to being a retired police officer , but thank you for having me .
Speaker 2Awesome , and we love retirees as well , so maybe we'll have you back . You know we have a lot that we spoke about , the points that we wanted to cover , but I've got to start with a curveball here . How's it like working together ? How's that Like ? Because that's across the board . That's a whole dynamic in and of itself .
Speaker 3So we've had a very adventurous work history together . So Sean's been a cop for 10 years beyond me , in case you all need to know that . And so when I started I worked in patrol and six years in I got promoted to sergeant . At the time he was already a sergeant . So we actually shared an office together for a couple of years , like literally in the office together , and then we both have been promoted through the ranks and , yes , it's interesting to work with each other and live at home together , but we work very well . We have a great , great working and marital relationship , so we're good .
Speaker 4Awesome and all we had to do sometimes . If we were not getting along too well , just move the chair in another direction and we were good , I like it .
Speaker 2I like it . Hey , all right , the honesty , the practical stuff . So you two met 15 years ago , in a sense while already working , and we want to jump to some of the things that are more recent and there's so much we can talk about . But , sean , I want to ask you how you got your start at Hallendale Used to be Hallendale Beach Police Department . Tell us about some of the early days starting in law enforcement .
Speaker 4Well , I started in law enforcement at 20 . So I went to the police academy . I was 20 years old . I worked as a security guard when I got out because I couldn't immediately get a job because at the time it was very difficult to be a police officer and Hallendale was the first place that wanted to give me a chance and I had thought hey , yeah , I'm going to go to Hallendale . It's the beach and old people I did not know that Hallendale has their share of some crime . But it was the greatest thing that probably ever happened to me , because I got such an experience of police work there In the almost five years that I was there . I was just a part of everything , so it was a really great experience there .
Speaker 2That's wonderful , so story moments stick out to you from your time there . There's so . Shareable , shareable story , yeah , shareable .
Speaker 4There's so many . The strangest thing I think that really happened . One day I was on a traffic stop and they teach us to watch cues of people and I was really , really new in field training and I picked up on this guy wanting tohe wanted to get into his glove compartment .
Speaker 4He kept inching his way back to the glove compartment and I got real close to him and I'm like no , no , no , you're not going back in there . And then , long story short , he reaches in there and grabs something and when he grabbed it he took off running and as I'm chasing him he's actually like dumpingit was a sandwich bag full of cocaine , which was , of course , blowing into my face . Oh no , I was all down my body . But that was kind of a little strange story of you . You know , I was a cop , probably like two or three weeks at 20 years old . I never really experienced anything like that .
Speaker 2That is definitely a memorable story .
Speaker 2And then you worked three straight shifts after that . No , no , just kidding . You know that's an incredible story . And let me ask you this again I do have our notes here . Don't worry , I'm going to get back to some of the things that we've prepared . You know what a serious topic , because officer safety right . And you know both of you can chime in on this Sean , first you know , seeing as it's your story , and then Patty , whatever comes to your mind . You know and again we don't want to go way down this tangent but people criticizing how you do your job , or well , why did you do this and why did you do that and why did you give them a hard time ? You don't know what's going on . All you see is someone reaching into a glove box . That's scary . That's could make you nervous . I mean , could you elaborate for people that maybe don't understand what that's like ?
Speaker 4Well , you know , a lot of people don't understand that . You know the person that's doing the action . They know what they're doing , they know why they're doing it . When you approach a car and a traffic stop , the person in the car knows the . You don't know anything . We're approaching someone . I've never met this person before . They could be the nicest people in the world . They might not be , you don't know . They might be the kind of men that cues that people give you and a lot of times people will give off those types of things , Like this guy was obviously nervous about what was in the glove box and he was saying , oh , I need to get in there because I need to get my , my registration , and I was like no , I can get it for you , no problem , you know . You know you'd be a nice . You treat people with respect . You're nice to people , but sometimes people just give off that when they're not , when they're not following your orders . There's a lot of people .
Speaker 4There's a reason and people had to understand that when people resist arrest , when they , when they don't follow orders , there's a reason behind it , and that's why we have to be careful , because , you know , we want to go home to our families just as much as anybody else does . We don't want something bad to happen to us , and I didn't know if there was a gun in that glove box . That's actually what I thought was in the glove box .
Speaker 2There's a weapon . That's what I thought . What when ? As you were telling the story ? That's what I was thinking as well , patty . Any thoughts on that ? Just you know someone that doesn't understand or would criticize what it's like to be in that situation .
Speaker 3You know , we have to react in a moment's time and , as Sean explained , at the end of the day , our goals to get back home to our families . So , and you know , as humans in this job and I can only speak from my own experience , experiences through those that are close to me is that you feel when something isn't right , like Sean explained , people have cues , there's something that's going to happen , that's going to put those hairs in the back of your neck to stand up , and you're like , hold on a second . And so we're often put in positions that we have to make a decision very quickly . There's not a lot of time to think things through . But I will tell you like for us , for the Davey police department , we have an excellent training program . So we go through in service training , you know , a couple times a year and we learn a lot of valuable information that helps , that helps contribute to our decision-making out in the field in a moment's time .
Speaker 2That's awesome and that was actually a question that we had recently on . Ask a cop , you know , do you get training throughout the year ? Yes , officers receive in-service training and again , you would think that that's common knowledge , but we'll give people the benefit of the doubt . Maybe they just don't know . So so let's move on to some other things we wanted to talk about . Thank you for that . I want to jump right to an incredible Event that affected your whole family , kind of jumping forward here . We'll see , maybe we'll go back , but , but we want to get to this story and it starts with . You may think it starts with that night , but as you were retelling it to me , I love the detail that it started with in the car on the way home From a wedding , both thinking the same thing . Just I love that detail . I don't know who wants to go first , just a special moment .
Seeking Spiritual Connection
Speaker 3So Sean and I were invited to a co-worker's wedding , which actually took place at a Catholic church . So we're sitting in the sanctuary and I hope that's what they cause .
Speaker 3Yeah , yeah absolutely the same . We're sitting in there and the weddings going on and we're looking around and it was just a beautiful , beautiful church . And I had gone to church several years prior with my ex-husband but I stopped going . I don't have an answer for that . And then , as I'm sitting there , I'm thinking like I really would like to get back into going to church , but I'm Christian based , right . So my husband's Jewish and I'm like , well , how am I gonna deliver this to him and have an expectation for him to go or for him to be accepting , because we had Difference of opinions at that time in our spiritual World .
Speaker 3So he I found out once we left the , the wedding , that he also was kind of like getting this tug on his heart , like you really need to explore the church , right ? So we get into the car and then he starts talking about the beautiful artwork in the , in the church , and how he felt , just felt this tug on his heart to go to church . And I'm like I Like I couldn't believe that he was saying that because it was happening to me and then it was just brought together to us at that moment . So , you know , we went to the reception or whatever , and then within a couple weeks we started actually going to Calvary Chapel and in Fort Lauderdale and it just we went there a few times and it was a little bit kind of you know , we had to get adjusted , so we stepped away a little you mentioned it was big , it was just too big .
Speaker 2It felt too big , yeah , just just for us .
Speaker 3Yeah , we were looking , it just wasn't wasn't the best fit for us . Yeah , so that's how we came to come into the church , and then I don't know what else to add to that .
Speaker 2Yeah well , just from the car ride , from visiting Fort Lauderdale , just because that was right before this incredible event , right If I remember the timeline .
Speaker 4Yes , yeah so .
Speaker 2I just think it's a neat God moment that that would happen before this tragedy which we're going to get to . But from that you know moment , or visiting Fort Lauderdale , anything come to mind Sean .
Speaker 4It was kind of amazing just to be sitting . We're sitting next to each other and we're thinking the exact same thing , and I was wondering too , how do I talk to her about it ? Because you know I had balanced it too , because , you know , maybe , growing up being Jewish , you're like , you know , am I , am I Is ? Am I not supposed to do that ? Am I betraying my ancestors by by exploring this avenue ? But it was tugging on me , seeing you know you should . This is what you , this is what I want you to do , is basically what God was telling me was I ? This is what I want you to do . You just try it , go down this path . I want you to experience it , because as a kid , I did have experiences with the Catholic Church , with friends being very Catholic and very , very religious , but I didn't . I didn't like it , I didn't like the way that I felt there , I didn't like that specific church . So , and then I was bar mitzvah and and I was , I was a Mazel tov , you know , yeah .
Speaker 1And .
Speaker 4I I were my family's very . They're not super religious , but they're spiritual . And we followed the Jewish faith , so I tried temple as well , but it just wasn't . It wasn't clicking and what ? There was just something I clicking .
Speaker 4And at this point . It's I just got the feeling and , and it's just ironic , we're sitting in the , in the , in the leaving the reception , and I leaned over and I said you know , this has happened to me and she's like you have to be kidding me , right , and I'm like why she's like ? Because that's happening to me . It was just really weird , like at the same exact moments we're like that's God telling us something . So we need to try this and that's why we went to Calvary Chapel and I enjoyed it . I , the pastor was awesome , the , the experience was awesome , the music , the warmth , the , the energy , just that specific church was just too big .
Speaker 2You know , thousands of people just too it was a little too big for me and you know I appreciate you even even being that transparent , because maybe somebody else feels the same way . They're in a church that just you know they want to stay , they want to make it work , but it's not feeling right , it's not a good fit , and so that's an encouragement that you know , skipping forward a little bit , you have found a home church , you're happy with your church , your pastor , so so God could do that . Hey , I want to invite you if you're listening . If you're listening , you can call 786-313-315 . Remember , if you're listening live , this is Ask a Cop . And , yes , we have a responsibility to the FCC . We have a responsibility to our guests and , ultimately , to the Lord , but they are willing , they're ready to answer questions , help you understand things . You can ask a cop live . If you're listening to the podcast , if you got this recording , you can always text us questions for future episodes or text us for requests and we will help you as best we can . Again , that phone number is 786-313-315 . Call or text right now if you're listening live , 786-313-315 .
Miraculous Recovery and Career Calling
Speaker 2So I wanted to get to the story , because there's so much to talk about , right , even as we were speaking on the phone . Was it yesterday ? Wow , time flies . We went in different directions family and hospital , and work , and so much so . August 2016 rolls around . What's the timeframe ? When was the where you started visiting church ?
Speaker 3So I don't . It was within a few months from the time that we had gone to the wedding .
Speaker 2I think the wedding was June . Oh wow , june , wow , and then the accident was August . Yeah , so take us to the night .
Speaker 3So in 2016 , I worked midnight shift and Sean worked in the detective bureau and he was leaving to go to do he was on a like a sweep that they had for the detective bureau . I was taking my partner home because he had he was traveling and he had to leave his car at the PD . So I see Sean in the parking lot and I'm like , hey , listen , I'm going to take Steve home and then I'll come home . I live in the city , too , that I work .
Speaker 3So , I said I'll come home , give you a kiss and then go to sleep and then I'll be on my way , okay ? So then I'm driving down 75 . I'm going southbound , and then there's a truck that rolled over on the highway on 75 . And at the time they were doing construction , so it was like really dark out there . There was not really good lighting , you know whatever .
Speaker 3So I pull over in a manner that it's like every textbook of everything we were taught in the academy , right . So I pull over and I block lane one and two that he was in and I get out of the driver's side . My partner gets out of the passenger's side and we go over and make contact with the guy that rolled over his truck . Yeah , well , it turns out he was heavily intoxicated . I walk him over to the shoulder , so he's in the safe zone , right . So now there's other cars there and other people , so I have to start walking southbound . My partner starts walking northbound and then I don't know what happened after that . So before I know it , I'm being airlifted to the hospital . I was struck from behind while walking in the shoulder and , yeah , I ended up getting airlifted . I was in ICU for a week or so . And then I was transferred to a inpatient physical therapy facility , memorial South , where , luckily and by the grace of God , when I tell you that I really mean that .
Speaker 2Yeah , that's okay . You know already a couple of things that stick out as you take a moment . You didn't have to stop right , and I can even ask Sean as she takes a moment . You know she was off duty , or .
Speaker 3Oh no , I was working , so I was coming in and my partner was going out . Okay , we were switching shifts .
Speaker 2Well , I'm sure I can ask you , I'm sure you would have stopped anyway . I mean , that's just the kind of person you are , a law enforcement professional , is that type of person that you would stop anyway ? And then the other thing that you mentioned how you did it textbook right , you did everything right and something wrong still happened .
Speaker 3Right .
Speaker 2Right .
Speaker 4Her vehicle was a fully marked Chevy Tahoe Lights on the top , lights on the side , lights on the back . It's lit up . You know you're not going to not see this car and she's blocking like textbook , like we're supposed to angle the car to protect the people in front . She did everything right . She's on the shoulder , not on the roadway , and the person just , for whatever reason . I would assume that you know everybody's usually right-handed , Most people are right-handed , so when you , he must have been falling asleep . Could have been a lot of things . But when you look up and you see something in front of you , what's the first thing ? Pull to the right . Wow , and that's what he must have done . Pulled to the right , went off the road and then struck her and she was facing away from him , so she didn't even see it in her from behind .
Speaker 2And you were saying that that was actually a good thing that she didn't see the vehicle when you were describing to us what happened , because if not , you would tense up .
Speaker 4Yes , so like if you see it coming , you could move a certain way , you can tense up . Something could happen . She didn't know , so her body's loose . So when the car hit her she just went up and over the car which , by the grace of God , her head hit the passenger mirror which broke off . But if it was two inches , like the trooper told me he said , listen , if it was two inches to the left , her head would have hit the A frame there and she would have been dead . There's no questions asked . She would have been dead . So that she is .
Speaker 4It's a miracle that she hit at that point .
Speaker 2Well , we're gonna get into the details of the miracle that you're even sitting here today , that you're back on full duty , that you are at where you're at . 60 miles an hour is what we were told .
Speaker 3So the report estimated between 50 and 60 miles an hour is the speed that the driver was going . That hit me and again I was walking in the shoulder . I wasn't aware because I was facing the other way .
Speaker 3so I had no idea that was happening like Sean explained . But from what I understand , I have no memory of the first probably three weeks , two or three weeks that I was in the hospital . A lot of information I've learned through my recovery and some of it has triggered like memories , like through the therapy and stuff I had to go through . I had to listen to the radio traffic from that night , so that was a little bit challenging for me . So when he hit me I flew 50 feet up in the air like 80 feet forward , whatever came down , smashed my face on the concrete and rolled down , rolled down the side of the roadway there and then from that unfortunately , I did suffer from a traumatic brain injury . I had a few fractures my neck , my back , my legs .
Speaker 3I had to be like I explained in inpatient physical therapy . I had to learn to walk again . I had to learn to be able to speak . I had a lot of memory issues . I had trouble like balancing my emotion and it's like if I couldn't get that under control that was gonna be the end of my career . And I remember having conversations with people and being asked like what are the ads of you not wanting to go back to work and I'm like that's not even an option , like I was at the time . What ? 36 years old ?
Speaker 2I'm enjoying my 40s . We did an Oscar , I did an Oscar , her age .
Speaker 3Yeah , I was 36 years old and I'm thinking to myself like I've been a cop for 10 years . I can't imagine like giving up my career , like this job is not for everybody , it is a calling , and again , all the things I say I can only speak on how .
Speaker 3I feel and what my experiences have been .
Speaker 3But this job is a calling .
Speaker 3So the idea for me at that point not to be able to come back to what I really felt I was called to do in my life was very troublesome .
Speaker 3So , through the support that I had of my family , we have a chaplain program at the Davey Police Department . So just around the time that this crash happened I connected with our lead chaplain for the first time because at the time we had a chaplain program but it wasn't really pushed too much or shared too much with the majority of the agency . So we got a new chief assistant chief at that time and we had a lieutenant that was working for us that both worked really hard to develop our chaplain program and got them more involved and engaged with our members of the department . And so I met with our lead chaplain , pastor David Elms , and he was just a few weeks before telling me about his family and I was telling him about my family and it was like we just connected in like such a way that I couldn't even explain . And after my crash happened he was one of the very few people that I remembered because I didn't even remember who my husband
Surviving and Recovering From Tragic Accident
Speaker 3was for the first week .
Speaker 2I was gonna ask you , because you mentioned that before , that you didn't recognize your husband .
Speaker 3That is very true .
Speaker 2That was intense . When you were describing , you said it was your mom . Did you recognize your husband ?
Speaker 3My mom , my children and a couple of people that are close to me like friends that are close to me . But yeah , I mean I can't attest to that experience , but Sean can explain how that was for him .
Speaker 2I wanna go back to you , Sean , even the night of you know , again , I have the privilege that this is the second time I'm hearing you both share , and some of the details that you shared with me on the phone call wow , we're so impactful . Your experience that night , you know , you get the call . You think this is it . I mean I'm a cop , I know what happens when somebody gets hit with a car on the highway . I mean , can you take us back to that night ? Yeah , If you don't mind .
Speaker 4One of my detectives came running in and he was like , oh , patty just got in a crash , you need to come with me . And I had just seen her , like we just , and she drove off . So I'm like , oh , okay , well , she got in a car accident , is she okay ? You know , like where did it happen ? He's like no , it was on I-75 . And I'm like , okay , well , you know you're in a car , you think you're all right . She's like no , she was walking on I-75 .
Speaker 4Now you're thinking , well , nobody who can live through that , like at I-75 , these speeds are 70 , 80 , 90 miles an hour . You can't survive . So now I'm panicking . All right , we got to get out there . He pushed , put me in the car and he drove me out there . And when we got out there there were dozens of ambulances , dozens from all over , from Broward sheriffs , from every agency you could think of . So I'm opening up ambulances , like looking for her , and I can't find her . Finally I find the one and she's out . You know , she's unconscious and they're prepping her for the to fly her , you know , to Medevac her .
Speaker 4And they took her in the helicopter and then we left in the car and it was this was , you know kind of .
Speaker 4It's kind of funny in the sense that we almost beat the helicopter there , like that's how fast you know , my , my detector was driving and when I got there they the hospital wasn't letting me , you know , they couldn't see her cause she were rushing her into CAT scan and the doctors were like I don't know , they don't have answers , and it was just really that's the first time , I think I met the or the chaplain , I don't , I don't . I think that's the first time and the chief . I remember the chief being there and I remember Chris he's a major now , but at the time he was a captain , like the friends and the family , and the was so important to keep me calm because I had no answers . And they're telling me that my wife , you know , I don't know if she's gonna make it , I can't give you any answers , but that was pretty scary time . And then we go into when I finally got to see her , which was and this was the shocking thing Like I went to hug her .
Speaker 4Like you know , and she was unconscious for the first couple of days , so she couldn't , you know , she couldn't interact . When she finally opened her eyes and I went to hug her and she actually looked at me like someone who I don't know who you are , Like , pulled away , kind of like well , who are you and why are you touching me ? Which was like the worst feeling in the world , because now I'm like you don't even recognize me and she didn't know who I was at all .
Speaker 2And again , no guarantees . You didn't know that a month , two months later , everything was gonna be fine . You're thinking this might be forever . This might , I mean . Did that , oh yeah .
Speaker 4There was a lot of unfortunately , and I understand doctors can't give you answers because they don't know . They work on speculation , but they're like I don't know . I you know , like this is how it's gonna be . So it's very scary . Is she gonna be the same ? Is she gonna remember me ? You know it was a rough couple weeks . Even when she was got transferred from ICU into the inpatient , she still couldn't walk . It was about a year of hard work for her to try to get back to being herself .
Speaker 2And the other detail you know . Just to know the gravity of the situation , you had four children at the time . You told us the ages were 12 , 13 , 14 , 16 at the time . That's a heavy load . Another story that I thought it was funny I hope that's okay when you tried to , I think , read the Bible to her , pray with her and she wasn't having it , but then you met someone coming in . I thought that was another God moment . If you're willing to share it , that's another really good God moment .
Speaker 4So I thought to myself you know what I'm gonna do . You know , like this is a miracle , she's alive . I'm gonna research and I'm gonna find an appropriate Bible verse so I could read it to her . You know , because she was in and out of it You're not really super conscious , but just sleeping most of the time so I did and I got the Bible from the house and I brought it and I'm all happy and I'm confident this is gonna be really good . I sit down next to her , I open it up and I start to read and she looks at me and she just says shut the . You know I'm not gonna say that word .
Speaker 4Get out of here . And I was so defeated I was like I can't believe that she said that to me . And then I'm walking out and our chaplain , chaplain Elms he was coming in at the time and he's like , oh , I really want to sit with her and I'm praying with her . I'm like , well , good luck with that , because she's gonna yell at you like she yelled at me , but go right ahead . And then I walk out and I close the door and I'm looking through the little hole in the door and I'm watching him come in . And then she grabs his hand and he sits down and then she's holding him and he's reading and I'm like , what it's for him ? You'll do that , but she didn't do that for me .
Speaker 2And you're still married .
Speaker 8And those are . I mean we get to , you know , even yesterday .
Speaker 2Yeah , as Adrienne gets the mic on . Yeah , go ahead , there we go .
Speaker 8You know we have now of Ashra . We have a big problem about what we're doing . We have a hot position out here and we're at starting point out that we're gonna get this door in front of the show doesn't get bullied . You know , it's something to keep from happening and I mean we're gonna have good contact on Tuesday , but that's yeah . There we go at work and with the Bili Whose , on someday the big hot spot will be high and humidity . So yeah , that's what you're saying to me and I'm like , okay , we gotta make .
Speaker 8We're here years later and it really has been a miracle . It really has been a miracle and all of these things being so difficult . I think it gives us such a perspective on life today and the things that we go through today . And so , for anyone listening an officer who's never been in a tragic accident but those things that we , after going through that , start prioritizing right , like I just wanted to read a Bible verse and what that meant and just little things that begin to take a different perspective . I think it's so important and don't never underestimate . You might be at a wedding one day and there's a tug on your heart Like those are things you wanna listen to . There's a reason God prepares us and all these little things . So thank God for the chaplain there and all those .
Speaker 2Absolutely . We wanna talk on some of those things . We're gonna go to a break here to give our guests a moment to just gather their thoughts . There's still things we wanna talk about . Stay tuned for the second half of the program . I wanna talk about how you must appreciate things differently now . Patty , talk about TBI maybe it's misunderstood and then Sean , one of the things that we talked about , caring for the family . But hey , we prioritize the phone calls here at Gaza Radio . That is sweet . Let me give the phone number right now before we take the call , in case somebody else is thinking I've been trying to call . What's the phone number ? Forgive me . Seven , eight , six , three , one , three , three , one , one five . You can call or text . Where are you calling us from today ? Kendall , great to hear from Kendall . Go ahead , please .
Speaker 7Hey guys , Patty , this is George Alexandria . How are you ?
Speaker 3Good , how are you ?
Speaker 7Good . Hey , I just wanted more of a comment than a question . I'm just I'm grateful , obviously to God that you're fine and you made it out of this . You know , I've heard your story I'm in the chapter class but just hearing it and Sean hearing your story again , how God's called you and you both listened . I'm just grateful for that . So I'm grateful that you listened to his calling . I'm grateful that then you're on this journey together , that he led you this far and that you guys are still together . So it's a beautiful story , a great encouragement for me , for all those officers out there listening .
Speaker 4Well , thank you so much , that was it .
Speaker 3It's so nice to hear from you . I'm so glad you called in .
Speaker 2Thank you , george , you too Thank you , george , I feel glad and .
Speaker 8I will give you a hard time , but you were our guest last month on Ask a Cop , so . But now you gotta come back . So now you gotta come back .
Speaker 7No , and you guys are doing a great job . So , and Sean , I'm there now . I retired early to do more ministry work , so keep following your heart and Patty's 100% . It's calling to , calling on our lives , so 100% .
Speaker 3It is , and I just want you to know that my Apple Watch says 0% for today , george .
Speaker 7Let me go put it on right now .
Speaker 2Awesome . All right , thank you . Thank you . Well , that was sweet . That was sweet to hear from them and , hey , maybe that's our sub title . All right , ask a cop , encourage a cop , thank a cop , love a cop . We'll see , but thank you for the encouragement Again . 786-313-3115 . So among the other things we want to talk about when we come back is , you know , caring for family members while their family members injured . You know what I'm getting at . So much of the aspects that are forgotten in a situation like that . So we're going to go to a break . We'll be back . Remember to call our text 786-313-3115 . All right , well , we're going to go to a break . In just a moment we're going to hear information on Ask a Cop or we'll hear a moment of music . You know what we're going to pivot here . We don't want to waste even one more second . I think I've given them enough time to thank Sean Patty . This is the nature of live radio . So , going back to you , patty , just that sense of gratitude , appreciation . I'm sure that's been a part of the recovery .
Speaker 3Excuse me .
Speaker 2No problem .
Speaker 3Yeah , you know , dealing with having four teenagers and not being able to take care of myself , and that's .
Speaker 5OK .
Speaker 3Speaking as a mother . Yeah , it was a big challenge for me not to be there .
Speaker 2Yeah , sean , feel free to jump in and help her .
Speaker 3I wasn't able to cook for my kids , my husband , I wasn't able to take care of my home , and I'm so grateful for my mother Because she came here . She lives in Kansas and she flew here to be with my husband and my kids for seven weeks . She stayed and she stayed with me the whole time . And that was helpful for Sean too , because it gave him a little bit of escape where he could go and collect his thoughts and he could take care of our obligations at home , knowing that he was leaving me at the hospital but there was someone there to take care of me . So you talk about like being grateful for the things that you have that you don't realize are such blessing when you can't do it .
Speaker 3And then I had a teenager with a driving permit that had to drive me everywhere at that time . So , yeah
The Importance of Support in Recovery
Speaker 3, it was . It's definitely an eye opener to appreciate the small things that you don't think about , that you're involved in in your life or you're responsible for , and those that depend on you . And then you just can't do it and it's like I have to collect myself and I have to get it together , and I will tell you it was probably the majority of my recovery came from the support that I had for my family , the support that I had at work and my desire inside not to let that crash define me , not to let the injuries that I incurred dictate what was going to happen the rest of my life .
Speaker 3I was adamant that I was going to get through it . I was going to work as hard as I could and I don't know anybody personally who's had the same experience that I have that I can explain what has happened or how they reacted when they were hurt . But I can tell you that it was the strength that was put in me from up above that said you need to work , you need to get back to where you were , because this is not you and you're going to make it . And I did . I mean my accident was in 2016 . I returned to work in October 2017 . I went back to full duty and then July 2019 , I got promoted to lieutenant and I was like even through my recovery initially after the crash . So just before my crash happened , I was studying for a lieutenant's exam to get promoted .
Speaker 3And I started studying in June , so the crash happened in August I was going to the doctors . My doctor was like you can't keep doing this . Your brain's trying to heal and you're putting all this extra stress . You've got to stop having your face in the books and I'm like that's not going to work for me . I needed to take that lieutenant's test , even if I didn't do well , and I still passed . I was less on the list but I still passed . But I needed that to remind me that I can recover if I just keep working at it . And so I didn't get promoted that time , but 18 months later I did . So that just goes to prove that if you have the dedication to work and not everybody may have that same opportunity , not everybody may have been given the same advantage that I was and however it came we talked about miracles or the grace of God or whatever , but I worked for it and I got it because I wasn't willing to give up .
Speaker 2Absolutely , and that's such a life lesson , I think , right , take the cards that are dealt you and make the most of them and work hard at it . Again , I don't want to try to summarize too much because it was so well said , shauna , I'd like to ask you and she really alluded to it and it's really a great segue to you had needs at that time too . Maybe some men don't want to talk about it or some people don't want to talk about it , but when we were speaking before , it sounds like you've , not to put it , pressure on you , but it sounds like you don't almost become an advocate , in a sense of man . We need to think about the family as well , could you , could you ?
Speaker 4share with us , please . Yeah , it's very important what I learned from this . It's extremely important that you know you have the person , the victim who's injured , and and all the attention and the focus is on that person , which is important . They're healing the what their needs , but we can't forget about the spouse or the significant other or or or the family , the children , because they're they're hurting too . They go through the same , though they haven't had the physical injury .
Speaker 4Everything that goes on , everything that happened to Patty , I experienced as well . I was right there with her through everything from the moment after the crash happened until she got back on her feet . You know all the , the doctors , you know wheeling her in the wheelchair , helping her walk again . I'm with the Walker , experiencing her , not remembering me . I mean there's so many different things that went through the emotional roller coaster of the of the traumatic brain injury and and so it's very important not to forget the spouse and I'll tell you that the Davey Police Department . One of the things about being a cop is it's a tough job , it is very tough and like , like Patty said , it is a calling . It is a very difficult job to be out there , your second guest on everything , but one of the greatest things about being an officer Is the family , the camaraderie with your fellow Officers and the support that I got and that she got from the Davey Police Department was unreal , and there was always somebody there for us , no matter what we needed , whether it was at home , whether it was with our kids , whether it was with me . We had a very good friend of ours that um .
Speaker 4Unfortunately , in 2018 , he passed away , lieutenant Chad Rosen , who , who was with us every step of the way . He was like our liaison . He was always looking out for me . He was one of the ones that pointed it out . He was the first one that kind of brought it to my eyes like , hey , you need to take care of Sean too .
Speaker 4You know , like , give him some time to Decompress or to get something done , because I didn't want to leave her side ever and and in the beauty of having her mom here , which her mom is an angel like she is the sweetest , greatest person on earth , she key , she rushed there and having her there and I know that I could step away to be able to go home to care the kids , because we're a blended family , so Our kids sometimes went to their other parents , but when they were at the house you know they couldn't be on their own . I mean , I wanted to make sure that they went to school and that you know they were Doing their homework and and having their life if he kept being fed and everything else . And it was very difficult because I always wanted to be at the hospital .
Speaker 8Yeah , and you know , just speaking to the importance , you know , you , you're , you're both in in a more administrative position now and and it affects , you know , officer or administration at any level .
Speaker 8But Taking those experiences and and being able to , to give back in a sense in that way because I think very easily Sometimes it can become Numbers and statistics and you , you know , you forget that there it's men and women , you know it's moms and dads that are going through it , whether it's a car crash or an officer involved shooting , or or , you know , an attempt to save a life , maybe you know a kid , you know a young child in a situation , any type of Crisis , traumatic event that officers , it's built into the job .
Speaker 8I think it's so important to have someone in in those places to say , hey , we can't forget , these are people , these are , you know , men and women that have kids , that have you know , homes . You know , because we've seen it a lot , you know , as chaplains to that , the pressure could just be like , okay , but where's all the liability ? And you know what is the thing and how many was it , the statistics , and we forget that aspect . So , as an officer , you know you going through it , having someone to say , hey , I'm , I'm aware of you're going through this too . I'm here for you can mean so . So much to that person going through it . You know the communication of it and the action behind it .
Speaker 4Well , yes , it's very it as an administrator , and now me learning is being a captain , and I will tell you that the support from our chiefs that were there every day , they came every day to see Patty and and to see , to know that you're , you have that support from the top of your agency . It it's tremendous help . Do you know that you're a family and it's really important for administrators and it's also really important for the civilians to understand that you know officers or people where we're husband's wives , dads , brothers , sisters we're human beings . We're not . You know , sometimes they look at an officer and they only see the uniform . We're not a uniform or a person you know and we feel the same thing that everybody else feels yeah thank you so much .
Speaker 2You know , believe it or not , we're winding down the last part of our program here .
Family, Careers, and Law Enforcement Experiences
Speaker 2If you're listening live , you have about 15 minutes to text or call to ask a question , make a comment . Again , these are this is Sean and Patty , and Captain and lieutenant , but again just people , as he just finished saying , and so you might want to ask them about Having a family member in the hospital , somebody going through therapy . You might want to ask them about being in a blended family . You know they mentioned that a couple times . You might want to ask them about man , how'd you raise such four amazing kids ? Patty , I'm gonna put you on the spot here . Incredible tracks , they're all on . It's like you have a whole First responder core there or something from a little bit that I remember and you know you might want to ask them about anything , obviously law enforcement , decades of law enforcement experience put together .
Speaker 2The phone lines are open . You can text us as well 786-313-315 . Don't waste this chance now . They're here . I don't know we're gonna get them back . They're . They got a lot that that God has for them . So call or text us now . 786-313-315 , patty , if you just want to brag on your kids for a minute . I mean incredible what they're all up to .
Speaker 3So I have three girls on a boy . They are ages 22 , 2019 and 18 . Our 22 year old just started nursing school in January . She's doing really well . Our 20 year old is actually believe it or not a police dispatcher . She also works with us at the Davey police department . She just started there in September , so she's just just got released on her own , which is very exciting for her . And then we have our 19 year old , who just graduated EMT school in December , so she's actually starting her first job in the hospital in a couple weeks and she's going to paramedic school with aspirations to be a fire , fire rescue person . And Then our son is 18 . He actually just started criminal justice as well .
Speaker 8So , like you said , you know some , some people , joey right , they say , oh , we got a football team and they got a whole Medic vac police .
Speaker 2All you need is like a , like a like a mayor or something and you can run a whole city with your family . You just need to recruit a politician , or maybe not . Let's leave that part out anyways . 786 313 , 3 , 1 , 1 , 5 . If you want to speak a few moments , you happen to be the chaplain liaison . That's . That's pretty neat . That's . That's near and dear to our hearts . How's that going at , davey ?
Speaker 3Yeah , so we have a police chaplain program and we are made up of five chaplains . I have Awesome .
Speaker 2If you don't mind , we'll pause there . We'll take the call . Thank you so much for calling . Where are you calling us from ?
Speaker 5I'm totally in years one Good Going south to call their brain .
Speaker 2Great , thank you . As we mentioned a moment ago , we are in the last part of the program , so please give us your question . We'll say see you later and we'll get to it .
Speaker 5Let me tell you something I got . Bless your family . You are caretakers of the people that you don't even know and the sacrifices that you're making , you are angels on earth . God bless you . It is unbelievable is the detail of that of your crisis . You can visualize all the sacrifices that you are Still making . Congratulations is being an honor to listen to your interview and Asking to the captain , going back to when he was 20 years old that fracture is second when that Person went to the glove compartment , how did you react that you , by risking your life , you save a life because it was very difficult , how , how that happened that you , that you could restrain yourself of shooting that person
Police Ride-Alongs and TBI Experiences
Speaker 5. And I finished my question . Thank you , captain .
Speaker 4Captain . So it was . It's strange how it works because you know things happen . You know so quickly , but when you think about it it was like an almost in a slow motion and you know that he's reaching for this glove box and my instinct was to immediately what's the one thing that he can't ? He can't hurt me if he can't , he doesn't have his hands . So immediately tried to grab his hands . So that was like my first thing , because if I hold his hands , then whatever's in he gets out of the glove box he can't get it . But he had already got it in his hands . And then , once I knew it wasn't a weapon , it was a little bit , a little bit different and then at that point I was gonna try to you know , I obviously get him in custody , but he was bigger and he was quicker and pulled away from my grip and Then he just took off running and then use that instinct to chase after him and , being Brand new , 20 years old , a brand new cop , I don't even know what I was doing .
Speaker 4I was running , I didn't even know where I was . I Ended up , bad guy . I ended up in a backyard . I could hear sirens going by because everybody's looking for me and I don't know where I am . They're calling me out , they're calling on me on the radio . Where are you ? Where are you ? And I'm like , well , I'm by this big tree and this house is blue and I'm in a backyard and I know , I don't know , wow , so it's just , but it's a learning experience .
Speaker 2Yeah , learning experience , the grace of God , mercy , I mean , and you know , please law enforcement officers to tell me if this is true . I mean there was a million , maybe not a million , a thousand outcomes to that situation . It could have gone better , worse , sideways , backwards , upside down , so it's fractions of a second .
Speaker 8You know one thing , jo , and I don't know how Davey does it , but you know it's really eye-opening when you do a ride along with a police officer . And not every department you can do that , I don't know , you know how Davey does it , but it's . It is an opportunity to just feel a little bit . Yeah , I mean , you're talking about maybe a couple hours , maybe one shift , if they allow you to be there the whole time , but I encourage people to , every now and then , if you're curious , if you're , you know , do a ride along with an officer , go to , you know , whatever agency you live in , and it's eye-opening . You know , I mean the frustration . I remember the first time , just with cars not moving out of the way and you're hearing what's happening on the other side and your instinct is I need to go save somebody . There is actually someone in danger right now and people aren't moving and Probably you know what we think . Oh , he's just trying to cut in traffic . Look at them , turn on their lights to . You know , make a left .
Speaker 2I've never .
Speaker 8And then all of a sudden . And then you wonder , because I've been in right along where . Then , all of a sudden , they call it off . No , no , no , everyone's that . And then you turn your lights off . Well , no , no , back on . I mean , this was one instant and , and , and it's a back , and you're listening to all this ? Well , no , all the other person sees is a car with the lights on . You don't know what's happening on the other end .
Speaker 3So I encourage anyone to you know , do a ride along and I'm glad that you brought that up , because they can call their local police agencies and find out if they have any sort of like community policing Academy or civilian police Academy , however it's titled . So for the town of Davy we actually have a community police Academy you . So twice a year we have three months or 12 weeks of time where we get all the different divisions within our agency that come in and do a presentation for our students awesome our CPA students and they get to participate in ride-alongs and they get to participate in , like , police related scenarios .
Speaker 3So it's a pretty interesting and eye-opening experience if your local agency has that option available to you guys .
Speaker 2Absolutely where Miami Florida . We know that Miami Dade Police does it as well . We know that City of Miami does it , so odds are that your police department will have something like that .
Speaker 8I've seen some very funny circumstances when the civilian gets put through some of those scenarios in the city and the responses are pretty funny . But but it is eye-opening , educational , I'm sure . Yeah , education , of course . But the person who thought I'm like the nicest , I'm , I don't , I don't even do like I'm not violent , all of a sudden that's the person you know putting a scenario and and they're doing all sorts of stuff .
Speaker 2I , you're like whoa break all the policies they break all the policy .
Speaker 8But , but it is amazing and being in some of those scenario based trainings , I mean , our law enforcement are Are more than equipped . One thing that I will say to we need to pray for our officers . Yes , if you see a siren , you see an officer , you see something , they need prayer . They need prayer , they need to be led . You know , I believe that that that God would have their hand on them . That's what I pray for . So I encourage those who , who , who want to really support them .
Speaker 2Absolutely , we have another call . We have somebody else online . Yeah , we're gonna Let go the first call and perfect . So we have an open phone line 786 313 311 5 . 786 313 311 5 . With just a few minutes left , you left , you can text or call . Where are you calling us from ? Westchester area great to hear from you . Go ahead , please . I .
Speaker 6Just wanted to share .
Speaker 6On the note of the , the Citizens Police Academy , I recently did one a session last year and they had us run a police scenario where there was like a , a suspect in the park and they had us just go like talk to the suspect and Within one second of the scenario I ended up getting stabbed and I was like what it's like ? What do you mean ? And I was like trying to talk the guy down and Like they were , they were a role-playing , but it really it was very Impressionante , really impacted me because that's something that police officers face every day . They go and to a call and all of a sudden a guy's just sitting there and he'll pull a knife on you and that happens Like they didn't just pull that from thin air . And so understanding on what these officers face literally every single day Gave me a lot more a compassion and be just awareness of the danger that they say so highly recommend anyone to participate in the police academy and Officers and lieutenant and captain , thank you so much for everything you guys do for community .
Speaker 4Thank you so much .
Speaker 3Thank you , eva .
Speaker 5Recognizable voice .
Speaker 8You're listening right and maybe later in the podcast . You've heard a couple of phone calls and that's a great thing about doing live radio that you never know who's listening . But if you're listening on the podcast as well and you say , hey , I might know this person , I might have a question again , you can always call us 786-313-3115, . But there's already been a couple of people listening that have some sort of you know , knowledge or they know Patty and Sean and and they , you know , we have that connection . We've been on trainings together , we've done different things , so it's a joy to have that family . You know , we talked about the family that there is , and in Christ there is a family , and there is a family in law enforcement , and it's a great thing , awesome .
Speaker 2Patty wanted to circle back around again fighting with time here . But any comments , any Information . Education on TBI . You know you were sharing with us .
Speaker 3I know I'm putting , I'm killing you with just a few minutes , but please , if you want to share a bit , so I'm not a physician , but in my own experiences I can say that For me , like I said , it was a frontal lobe injury and that affects your emotions and your decision-making and your patience , and so it was very challenging for my husband to adapt to a completely different person .
Speaker 3That I was not the same person that he married . After my crash happened , I mean , everything about me changed , I think for the most part maybe not completely , but I've gone back to what I was when he married me , but it was a very challenging time , I mean , even for the nurses . I was not a nice patient . They would you know they'd come in with medication and I'm like I'm counting on my all the medication they're giving me , like I'm not taking this and not take . I was not compliant at all . I didn't want to participate in any of the therapies with the other patients that were there .
Speaker 3I became very antisocial and I'm like a social butterfly , I mean , I walk into the room and I'm talking to everybody . But after that crash happened , I didn't want to be associated , I just wanted to be alone and that was an adjustment . Also , my kids having to adapt to the way their mom was . I would fly off the handle , for lack of better terms , in an instant when they would . Yeah , I was very impatient with them and at that age , going through teenage years , that's rough yeah .
Speaker 3Yeah , you know , they're 13 to 16 years old at that time , or 12 to 16 . It was , it was a tough . It was a tough adjustment for everybody .
Speaker 5Yeah .
Speaker 8Yeah , I have . You know , those of you who can't see in our studio right now , I have my 15 year old here in the studio in the background , listening and and so just you know , mentioning that and seeing someone that age right , so it's a very , it's a very interesting time of life for the parent and for the , for the child , that that you know that age , so Going through this amount of changes and this difference , it it's again by the grace of God , you know , by the grace of God , I think that we are where we are now today .
Speaker 2Sean patty . Any closing remarks , just a couple minutes . Any thoughts , anything you want to leave the listener with , whether civilian law enforcement , just closing remarks .
Speaker 4Want to give you an opportunity before , before we go , we just I , you know we talk about heroes and first responders and everything , but we we also can't forget that , um , the doctors and the nurses like they were they were the , the , the doctors at memorial were were unreal , and the nurses with the care that they gave to patty , um , we couldn't be thankful enough that you know what they had to go through and put put up with . Um , yeah , like she said , she was not a very good patient .
Speaker 2Hmm , well , hey , I love that closing thought . Thank you to doctors and nurses , patty .
Speaker 3I just you know , when we started this conversation out and we told you the story about Us going to church and getting that tap on your heart . Yeah , it exists and and I'm sure a lot of my brothers and sisters in christ would be able to attest to that , but there's no doubt that there's a god and he has a plan for all of us , and I can't imagine what the reason was that he allowed me to survive and , and even after my accident happened , you know , I would . I would watch Facebook or instagram and I would see officers that were In the similar situation that didn't make it , and then I would question why , like , why me ? And although we may not answer , be able to answer that question , it's . It's just there's no doubt that there's a plan for us all and you've got to listen to your heart and be attached , be be connected with your feelings inside .
Speaker 2Patty , thank you so much again . Didn't know it was going to go there , but the way I would phrase it or summarize what you said , if you are here , it's for a reason . Whether you've gone through a tragedy and a scare like that , or whether you have it , you're here for a reason . Sean patty , thank you so much for your time today . It was an honor , thank you . Thank you very much for having us .
Speaker 3Thank you for having us family again .
Speaker 2You can Listen to ask a cop live first Tuesday of every month . Make sure you subscribe to the podcast . If you're not subscribed , you're wrong , so make sure you fix that right away .
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