Finding Identity Beyond The Uniform | Jeremy Stalnecker

Jeremy Stalnecker shares with us about this experience from combat to ministry and the identity loss that followed, using Hebrews 12 to build a framework of cause, crowd, cost, and Christ. He offers us a clear path from isolation to hope.

• purpose beyond the uniform and job
• the danger of isolation and comparison
• Hebrews 11 “others” as models of quiet faith
• testimony overcoming the accuser’s lies
• weights vs sin and how to drop both
• fixing our eyes on Jesus for clarity and strength
• community support for veterans, responders, and families
• practical hope for weary minds and faint hearts

Chapters

• 0:00 Purpose Beyond The Uniform
• 2:45 Calling To The Marines
• 6:30 Combat And A New Direction
• 9:40 From Infantry To Ministry
• 13:30 Losing Identity After Service
• 18:10 Hebrews 12: The Cause
• 23:30 The Crowd: You’re Not Alone
• 28:40 Faith Hall Of Fame And Others

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

If you have your Bibles, go to the book of Hebrews in the New Testament, Hebrews chapter number 12, Hebrews chapter 12. As we get started this morning, I want to look at three verses with you and tell you a little bit about my story, but encourage you with this truth. God has a plan and a purpose for your life that is bigger than the uniform that you wear or the job that you do. God created you to accomplish, and God created you to live a life that is fulfilled in doing what He has called you to do, and yet sometimes those of us who are in uniform or have served in uniform have a hard time understanding what God wants us to do when we're not at work. I was raised in a pastor's home. I joked yesterday, and it is a joke, but I joked yesterday that the one thing you learned growing up in a pastor's home is that you don't want to be a pastor. I can tell the ministry folks in the room, right? My mom and dad started a church, and uh man, I learned so much from them and watched them grind it out and work. My dad would work all night, then he'd come home, would then do all the church stuff. My mom was working a full-time job just to make it all happen. Tremendous respect for my parents, but I knew that's not what I wanted to do. Uh I was pretty young. My dad gave me a book about uh some Congressional Medal of Honor recipients from World War II, and I started to read that book, and it stirred some things in me as a young man and really gave me the idea that I could be a part of something bigger than myself. So when I was 14 years old, I went to my dad and said, Dad, would it be okay if I didn't go into ministry? And he said what you're supposed to say when you're a pastor to your kids. He said, Son, do whatever God wants you to do. That's the right answer. I said, Well, I think God wants me to enlist in the Marine Corps. He said, There's no way God wants you to enlist in the Marine Corps. That is not God speaking to you. He said, All right, if you want to do that, that's fine, but we're gonna put some things in your way. And one of those things was college. I went through a commissioning program and uh finally the fulfillment of a lifelong dream. I was commissioned as a second lieutenant in the United States Marine Corps. From the time I was about 12 years old, all I wanted to do was be a United States Marine. I knew there were other branches of the service, I just didn't know anything about them. And I thought if you were going to be a Marine, you had to be an infantry marine. That's all I knew. I'm not a smart guy, that's all I knew. And I pointed my whole life toward that, and finally I was able to serve as an infantry officer with the 1st Battalion, 5th Marines in uh in uh Southern California, Camp Pendleton. Did a number of deployments. My last deployment was to Kuwait in January of 2003, and then in March of that year, we pushed across the border. Our battalion 15 was the first Marine Infantry Battalion into Iraq, uh, breached the berm, went into Iraq. Um, I was responsible for navigation for our battalion, so I was the second vehicle back in the column. And uh again, it sounds crazy if you haven't been in that environment. You guys would understand this better than most. But for me, it was like getting called up to the the NFL. You guys don't have an NFL you know Super Bowl team in this state, but but you guys can watch TV, right? Like you know how that works. The Dolphins were there like 40 years ago or whatever, but but anyhow, so it's like getting called up, and now you're playing, you were on the practice squad, and now you get called up, you're a starter, and then somehow, so uh this is a little bit funny. Our team at home is the Eagles, and somehow they make it. I don't know how they make it, but they get there, and now you're playing the Super Bowl. And I felt like I was in the Super Bowl. This is everything I had ever wanted. Uh crazy. I won't tell you the whole background story, but before we deployed to Iraq, God got a hold of my heart, my wife, and and uh pointed us toward ministry. Don't tell God what you're not going to do, he's gonna get you. And I'm never going to ministry. That's what we're gonna do. Go in ministry. So I knew when I got home from Iraq, whenever that was going to be, I'd be getting out and going to work at a church, and that's exactly what happened. Uh, first battalion into the country. We made our way to Baghdad, the Battle of Baghdad, which I talked about a little bit yesterday at the lunch. Came home, got back into Southern California, landed at March Air Reserve Base, and 30 days later I was out of the Marine Corps. I had been serving in a Marine infantry unit, I'd been leading Marines in combat, and now I was working at a local church as an associate pastor with no background in Bible or ministry and trying to get volunteers to do the job they signed up to do. How many of you have ever volunteered for a job at church? Do it. You're gonna crush some poor assistant pastor. I was trying to get you to do your job. So I became very frustrated, and over time, uh, more and more frustration and more and more anger, and I lost myself in that process. My wife is here, and uh man, when I came home from Iraq, again, all I had ever wanted to do was be a Marine Corps infantry officer and go and fight somewhere, and that's exactly what happened. And I put the uniform away, and it seemed like when I put the uniform in the closet, I put my identity in the closet as well. People have asked me, was it post-traumatic stress that you were struggling with when you came home? Maybe some of that, but more than anything, it was a loss of identity. I had no idea who I was outside of that uniform. I was so attached to the job that I had and the rank that I had and all the things that I knew that I had no more purpose in my life. It took some people stepping into my life, the right men, my wife. I'll say this sometimes. We were in such a place, I was so angry and so frustrated. I about got fired from that first church job. My pastor called me to his office and said, Hey man, I love you. And if conversation starts that way, the rest is gonna be bad. He said, Hey man, I love you, but this isn't working. You're a disruption, you're so disruptive here, he told me. I'd fight in staff meetings. Bible college guys don't like for you to fight with them in staff meetings. I didn't know that. I get kicked out of staff meetings and I go home and take it out on my wife and two little kids. My wife stayed with me through that and had a lot of reasons not to. Had the right people step in, some men come into my life. Took a long time, but finally understood my identity in Christ and the purpose that flows from that identity and and the call of God on my life, but it took me a long time to get there. And listen, if you want to do what God has called you to do, and if you want to succeed outside of the job that you have or the uniform that you wear, you have to realize that God has a plan for your life that is bigger than a career, it is bigger than a job, it is bigger even than the rank on your shoulder. God has something specific for you. We see this in our verses this morning. I want to share these with you. Um I hope they're a help. Verse number one of chapter 12. Wherefore, seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us. Here's the first thing. If you are going to be all that God has called you to be, if you are going to fulfill the purpose for which you were created, you have to recognize that there is a cause. Look at the end of that verse, it's on the screen, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us. All of us are in a race. It is the race of life. There was a beginning, that was when you were born. There will be an end, that is when you take your last breath. And in between, there is a race. What I love about this verse is that the Bible tells us it is the race that was set before us. God set you on the path that you're on. And sometimes we wonder, am I here by accident? Did something happen? Am I in the wrong place? Listen, if you are a follower of God, then you're exactly where God wants you to be. I'm thankful that he says it is the race set before us. Why? Because it's not the race set before you that I'm trying to accomplish. It's not the race set before me that you need to somehow fulfill. God understands who he created you to be. God understands the gifts, the opportunities, and the stewardship opportunities that he's placed in your hands. God knows who you uniquely are, and God has set that race before you. Here's what happens sometimes. We step out of that uniform, we put the rank aside, we're moving on in our lives, and we say, Who am who am I? Well, where am I supposed to be? You're supposed to be exactly where God placed you and what we're talking about today, and what we're talking about throughout this conference, and why we gather here, is so that we understand God has a plan for us unique to us. God knows who you are in your home. God knows who you are to your kids. God knows who you are in your community. God has a plan for you. It is the race set before you. Listen, that's where it has to begin. You have to understand there's a cause. There's a cause. God has a purpose for you. When I was struggling my life, I thought that the cause was gone. It was lost. I came home from Iraq, I went into church ministry about seven months after I started that job. A lot of the Marines that I had served with went back to Iraq and they were in the first battle of Fallujah. A number of those young men that I was responsible for at one time were now losing their lives in a battle that I wasn't a part of. I remember trying to talk to people about that and trying to help them understand how I was feeling, and I couldn't even really communicate the fact that I felt like I had let them down. I said I'd take care of them, and now I'm not, and now I'm doing this job that seemed so unimportant at the time compared to what they were dealing with. It took some time before I realized there is a cause, and God had me there for a reason, and God had me in that job for a reason, and then God brought me into another place for a reason, and my job was simply to trust God one step at a time. There is a cause. But I love this, and this is what I think makes this conference so special. We jump from the end of the verse to the beginning of the verse, wherefore seeing we also are compassed, are surrounded about with so great a cloud of witnesses. And here's the reality for many veterans and first responders. The reality of the struggle that we have in our heart. We say this, I'm all alone. No one knows what it's like to struggle this way. No one's ever hurt the way that I hurt. No one's ever had to deal with the things that I'm dealing with. No one gets it. And listen, if you can put yourself on an island, if you can isolate from the reality that other people also hurt, and other people have also struggled, and other people have also made it, if you can separate from that reality, that is a very dangerous place to live. Because when you start to believe you're all alone, and you start to believe there's not a cause, there's not a purpose, then you lose hope. And when you lose hope, you've lost everything. Why is it in the veteran community that we're told that more than 20 veterans every single day take their lives? Why is it in the law enforcement and fire community that uh suicides are so high? We're given numbers, they're not right. Why do people lose hope? Because they've forgotten there's a cause, but they've also forgotten that they're not alone. Wherefore, seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, that verse, wherefore in the King James that I'm reading from, wherefore, it harkens back to the previous chapter. We're in chapter 12, but chapter 11 of the book of Hebrews is wonderful. We call it the Faith Hall of Fame. If you haven't read Hebrews chapter 11, you need to. It explains what faith is. It tells us that we have to have faith in order to please God, and then it gives us a list of stories. Those great heroes of the faith, like Abraham, his wife Sarah. We hear about all of these great heroes of the faith, David, who was talked about earlier, Joshua, who marched the nation of Israel around those walls of Jericho, and they fell down. These incredible stories of faith that are intended to build our faith. I love it. And when he says, wherefore, he's going back to that, he's saying, Because of those people that have gone before you, and then he goes on with the verse. What we love about Hebrews 11 is these are men and women who trusted God, did what God said, and then saw a glorious outcome. You with me? Build a boat, the rain's going to come, the rain came, Noah and his family were safe. That story is there. Walk around the walls, do the things with the trumpets and the seven times and all the stuff, the walls will fall down, and you can move into the promised land. We love those stories because there's a beginning, a middle, and an end. We love it. And yet sometimes in our lives we can't relate to it. Because we do our best to follow God and we do our best to uh pursue what He set before us, and yet we don't see the end. My favorite part of Hebrews chapter 11 begins in verse 36. I'll read it to you. And others. This is verse 36 of Hebrews 11, and others. We've heard about the Abrahams, we've heard about the Noah's, we've heard about the Moses, we've heard about David, we've heard about Joshua, but there were others. These are unnamed people, we don't know who they are, and others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings. Yea, moreover, of bonds and imprisonment, they were stoned, they were sawn asunder, they were tempted, they were slain with the sword, they wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented, of whom the world was not worthy. They wandered in deserts and in mountains and in dens and caves of the earth, and these all, having obtained a good report through faith, received not the promise. God, having provided some better thing for us, that they without us should not be made perfect. That's it. I love that the Bible includes these others, those who are unnamed, because sometimes we feel unnamed. Listen, unnamed in the Bible doesn't mean forgotten by God. God has a plan for your life, and God has a plan for my life. And we look back and we say, I'm all alone. No one's ever been through this before. And yet the Bible gives us a list of people who pursued God by faith and endured trials and scourgings and difficulties, and yet God calls them out and says they were blessed. Why is it that we can often go forward when the world doesn't make sense because we can look back to those who've gone before us? Those who stood up in difficult times, those who called out the truth when the world didn't want the truth to be called out. Revelation chapter 12 and verse 10 says this. And I heard a loud voice saying, In heaven, now is come salvation and strength and the kingdom of our God and the power of his Christ. For the accuser of our brethren is cast down. Who's the accuser of our brethren? It's the devil. Has he ever whispered in your ear? The accuser of the brethren? You're not good enough. You're not smart enough, you're not talented enough. This relationship thing's not gonna work out. God's forgotten about you. Listen, I'm not gonna pretend to know what's rolling around in everybody's head here today, but maybe the accuser of the brethren has said something like this in your ear and in your heart, you might as well just end it. Because no one cares. That's the accuser of the brethren. He comes to all of us, and in the book of Revelation, the Bible talks about this accuser of the brethren. It says, For the accuser of the brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night. He's cast down. Verse 11 tells us how he was cast down. They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony. Listen, it is the blood of the Lamb of God that pays the price for our sin, that sets us free, that makes us new, that brings us into relationship with God, our Father. But it is the testimony of God's work in our life that destroys the accuser of the brethren. Because as the accuser of the brethren whispers in your ear, you're not worthy, God doesn't love you, you might as well end it all. We can look at the testimonies of others who have said, No, I stood strong when it was hard, I stood up when it didn't make sense, I've moved beyond even what other people think about me, and I'm trusting God, and there is so much power, and there's so much freedom, and there is so much liberty in that truth. For those of you that have been to one of our programs, you know that again, what we do isn't very complicated. And so much of it is just built on testimony. The men and women who run our programs are men and women who have similar backgrounds to us. It's not preachers to parishioners or clinicians to clients or patients. It's veterans, service members, first responders, and spouses who will stand in front of a room of other people just like them and say, Look, I know where you are because I've been there. I've struggled the same way that you've struggled, I've hurt the same way that you hurt. I don't have it all figured out. But God has done a work in my life, and God can do a work in your life as well. There's so much power. Listen, in all of our lives, we need to understand there are those who've gone before us and made it possible. There are others who have gone before us, but now they're in our lives to support us. That's what a conference like this is about. That's what a church like Calvary, Miami is about. Uh, that's why we get together in these uh places. Why? Because there are those. Wherefore, seeing we are compassed about, there is a crowd, there are people around us, those who've gone before us, and those who have called out this moment and this time to support us in this struggle. There are also those who are looking to you. Part of that crowd, they're standing outside, they're looking to you. They're saying, I've watched their life, I've seen the way they live, I've heard the words that they've said, and from you they will draw hope and encouragement or be discouraged. That's up to you. There's a cause. God has a plan and a purpose for our lives, but there is also a crowd, praise God. There are those who've gone before us, and there are those who are supporting us now, and there are those who are looking to us. We are not alone. We go now to the middle of the verse. We have to understand, though, if we're going to be all that God's called us to be, and if we're going to move forward in a meaningful way, there's also a cost. I love the Bible for so many reasons. One of the things I love about Scripture is that it not only tells us what to do, but how to do it. Right? People think the Bible is just not practical or it's outdated or whatever. They don't read it. Listen, there's a cause, there's a crowd, but there's a cost. Here's what you need to do to fully engage with what God's called you to do. He says, let us lay aside, it's right in the center of the verse, let us lay aside every weight and the sin which doth so easily beset us. Here's what you need to do. Are you serious about this living for God thing? Are you serious about this living for something bigger than the uniform or the job thing? Are you serious about raising your kids for the glory of God? Are you serious about having a relationship that glorifies God and serves one another? Are you serious? Well, then there's something you need to do. First of all, you need to lay aside every weight. I'm thankful it starts with weight and not sin. It gets to sin, but it starts with weight. Listen, I'm not going to ask you to raise your hands, but we're in the most distracted generation of all time. So many of us are just dabblers. We spend our time doing this and doing that and doing this other thing, and none of it means anything. But the net result is that it weighs us down. It prevents us from moving forward as God would have for us to move forward. It's the weight, it's not wrong, it's not sinful, it's not immoral. And this is what we like to do, right? We justify our behavior by saying it's not wrong, it's not sinful, it's not immoral. And so it's okay. And yet the Bible elevates this to a different standard and says, look, it may be technically okay, it may not be immoral, but if it is weighing you down, you need to get rid of it. Because God has something more important for you to do. What are you allowing to keep you from being all that God has called you to be? Take an inventory. We talked about that last night. Times of rest are an opportunity to step back and evaluate and let God reveal to us those things that need to be included and those things that need to be taken away. There's some weight, it needs to go, but then there's sin. It says it so easily besets us for most people, Christian people, a lack of spiritual success in their lives and their relationships is not for lack of knowledge. It's because they're dragging behind them sin that they just won't release. I can't tell you what that is in your life, but I believe in a Holy Spirit that convicts us of sin. Listen, we say things like this doesn't hurt anyone, or doesn't hurt anyone else, or doesn't matter. If you believe that there is a cause, that God has put you on this earth for a purpose, then for you to presume that you are smart enough to suggest that the way you behave and the sin you're involved in doesn't impact other people is crazy. What is preventing you from having the impact on the world around you that God has called you to? We'll move on to the last point. There is a cause. God's put you on the path. He has a plan for your life, he has put you there. If you don't have purpose, you don't have hope. And if you don't have hope, you have nothing. But when we understand there is a cause given to us by God, we have an identity in him, we have a purpose that is clear, and we have hope because it is God that brings it all together. There are those who've gone before us, the crowd, those who we can look to, and those who we can be supported by, and those that we can bring along. There is a cost, some things that we need to eliminate from our lives, but there still comes this moment in time where we struggle. God, I believe you have a plan and a purpose. I believe there are others who've gone before me. I'm working to get rid of these things. But man, it's real fuzzy out there. Have any of you noticed that the culture we live in makes it really hard to see clearly? To understand clearly what we should do and what direction we should go? Check this out. What do you do when you don't know what to do? What do you do when the direction is not clear? What do you do when you don't know how to relate to the folks in your home sometimes, or the job that God has called you to, or you're feeling a pressure from the culture around you, or whatever it is that's going on in your brain? What is it that you need to do to see clearly down that path that God has called you to? Verse number two, looking unto Jesus. Looking unto Jesus. You see, verse number one is not about you doing it on your own, it's about you setting the stage or the conditions so that you can fully pursue your Savior, Jesus Christ, looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. What does that say? It's telling us that Jesus, the Son of God, he left heaven and he came to earth. We know this story, but sometimes we forget the impact of it. God saw us in our sin and he wanted to have a relationship with us. There's nothing we could do to bridge that gap. And so he did what only he could do. For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son. He sent Jesus Christ to live, to be born perfect, to live perfect, to set an example for us, to die on the cross in our place, taking our sin upon himself. He went to the grave, but because he is God, three days later he rose again victorious. He defeated sin and he defeated death and he defeated the grave. And check this out the same power that rose Jesus from the dead abides in every blood-bought believer. That is the Holy Spirit of God. And there are times where we feel like we can't do it. I'm too weak. It's not gonna happen. What do I do? Look to Jesus. Why? Because he is the author and finisher of our faith. And if he can do that, there's nothing he can't do. And yet we think I've got to carry this to my own power and my own strength. I've got to do this on my own. I don't know how it's gonna make it. We know our frailties, we know our failings, we know our faults, we know the stuff that's inside of us that no one else knows about, and the word of God says, get outside of your head and get outside of your heart and simply trust Jesus. Looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who, for the joy that was set before him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. Look at verse 3. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself. I love this last phrase. Lest ye be wearied and faint in your mind. Isn't that crazy? Anyone in here tired? Just tired of it all. Weary, faint. Listen to an extent that's a part of life, but the solution is what Jesus told his disciples to take his yoke. Why? His yoke. Because his burden is easy, his yoke is light. We look to Jesus because as we pursue our Savior, our vision becomes clear on the path that we've been placed on. We find support from those who've gone before us. We look to support those who are coming behind us. We eliminate the weight and the sin. And we allow God to do what only God can do. It's refreshing. It's renewal. It's empowering. And it gives us hope beyond the temporal or temporary circumstance of our job, our relationships, our culture, the struggles that we have, they're temporary. As we look to an eternal Savior, we give, we get an eternal vision of what he has planned for us. Listen, a lot's gonna be said today. And my hope, my prayer is that you'll take it all. Take it all. Their resources, their tools, every table out there. You need to stop by and talk to the folks. They're here for you. Here to support you. I'm almost done, Adrian. I promise. I said this yesterday. If you're at the luncheon, there's a there's a statement, and and it's it's true. The statement is that things aren't real until they're personal. Um my wife and I are here. Our son is a police officer in in California where we live. And man, it was crazy going from like being in the Marine Corps. I went to combat and my mom would talk to me, and you know, I didn't understand parents back then. So I kind of blow her off. I worry every day about that kid. Every day. I know his schedule, I know where he is, it's not healthy. I wake up in the middle of the night and like God will take care of him, and I trust that. But listen, we've got to support one another because this community, like the world may say they love us and they care about us, and they do. I think they b I think they believe it, I think they do for the most part. But you have to engage with the call of God on your life. And as you do that, it doesn't matter what else happens. He'll carry you forward into the life that he's called you to live. Can I pray with you, Lord? Thank you. Thank you for this time, thank you for the opportunity to be here. God, we thank you for this conference. Father, I thank you for your word. I thank you for these folks. And I pray, Heavenly Father, that we would get a hold of this truth. It wouldn't be head knowledge, it would be heart knowledge, that there is a cause. You have a plan and a purpose for every single person in this room. A plan and a purpose that reflects their unique gifting and opportunities, resources. But we're not alone. There is a crowd, those who've gone before us. We can look to them and draw strength from their testimony. There's a cost, some things we need to cut out, but God, the benefit is a life well lived. And when things get confusing and cloudy and murky, hard to understand, may we always elevate our gaze looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith. We thank you for who you are, God. We thank you, Father, for all that you've done. I pray that you continue to work in Jesus' name. Amen.